Wednesday, April 20, 2005

Back Again

Now Playing - Ray by Millencolin


Well, forgive me for the lack of updates recently, but I've had alot of important things on my mind, so I refrained from posting until I knew for sure I could get back to the irreverence that I am known and lov... ok, maybe just known for.

Thanks to everyone cool enough to go out drinking with me Saturday.. and Tuesday.

Ok, on to sports now, and from the old habits die hard part of my brain, it still feels good to root for Tino Martinez, especially watching him hit a grand slam the other day. I can only say that if it weren't for Tino, then I would've never yelled at Lou Pinella.

Vince Carter still sucks, it doesn't matter how many points he gets in New Jersey, because by next season he'll begin dragging the rest of the team down with him. Steve Nash and LeBron James make the players around them better, Vince and Kobe make their teams worse.

The Jays are still over .500, I can honestly say I'm impressed.

I thought I'd mention tha I found a great new webcomic Alien Loves Predator. Imagine an Alien and a Predator as roommates in New York City... 'nuff said.

Isn't it great to see that first nipple of spring? You just happen to catch a glimpse... ahhh pure magic.

Word from a number of papers from England is that the new pope Benedict is a Nazi, and was a member of the Hitler Youth organization; the only thing that I've got to bring up is... is anyone really that surprised? I mean because, the Catholic Church and the Jews have been such close, good friends over the past few hundred years.

Look for my first ever cd review of Millencolin's new album Kingwood coming out in the next few days, and sorry that I don't have much to talk about this time, but I'll have alot to mention on the next post.

Saturday, April 09, 2005

Abstract On A Theme

Now Playing - Little Know It All by Iggy Pop and Sum 41

Nothing really pertinent to talk about today, but I've been watching the last couple of Blue Jays games and the Skydom... uhhhm, I mean Rogers Centre looks great. The Jays have hit a bunch of homeruns over the past couple of days and there's one thing I don't think I've heard. The fireworks are gone! Those fireworks were th best thing about the ballgames during the lean past couple of years.

Well, it was bound to happen sooner or later, the Canadian Women's hockey team finally lost, after winning 8 straight world championships, Canada fell in a shootout in the gold medal game to the United States. We're still really proud of you, girls, you'll get 'em next year.

*special post that means something to only one other person on the planet* Come back soon, I miss you.

For those you who are/were big Sesame Street fans, I beg you, do not watch cokie monster. Looks like, in a change designed to get kids to help think about what they eat, Cookie eats... fruits and veggies? Listen, I have no problem with teaching kids to eat well, have Beyonce come on the show and tell Big Bird that she loves Jay-Z because he 'knows how to eat a good cumquat.' Sorry, I've been sitting on that joke for a while and I felt I had to use it, no matter how obscure the reference. In all seriousness, Cookie Monster was one of the few true heroes of my childhood, along with Jimmy Key, Wendel Clark and Felix Potvin... I'm afraid I just won't be able to tape sesame street anymore to watch when I get home from work.

Now Playing - Hope I Never Lose My Wallet by The Mighty Mighty Bosstones

Tuesday, April 05, 2005

Isolated But Still Together

Now Playing - Sic Transit Gloria by Brand New

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That's right, if you live in the Toronto area and you want a job working for Maverick Research, working alongside such luminaries as myself, you can now apply. We're looking for ten people to start as soon as possible, earning 9 dollars an hour in what is, in all honesty a pretty fun job with flexible hours. So if you want more information, please drop me a line at BigNiceJohn@gmail.com and I'll get back to you with all the application information.


So there's not one big thing on my mind, but I do have a bunch of little rants to get of my chest. I find myself watching a bit more reality tv than usual, and I seem drawn to the fight shows, specifically The Ultimate Fighter and The Contender. Listening to these guys talk about their sublime skills to beat the crap out of someone else, I'm surprised to see how many of them say that Jesus had a part in it.

Now, I don't really want to get down on Jesus, but he really doesn't strike me as a guy who'd engage in a fight for money, although I hear the Romans were pretty good at that sort of thing.

Baseball season is here again, and the the first time in a long time, the Jays are undefeated. I was watching the Yankees-Red Sox game the other night, and for some reason, directors of sporting events think we want to know which celebrities are in attendance. Donald Trump was sitting next to Regis, and I can only imagine what ungodly menace those two were cobbling together. A little hint to guys (because lets face it, 99% are guys) who direct sports... the celebrities we're interested are already there, they're in uniforms with their names on the back.

I really feel that the Pope's death has taken the thunder from Mitch Hedberg's passing.

I just want to talk about a couple of movies for a second. I'm seeing Sin City sometime this weekend, and I expect my ass to be literally blown off.

Fever Pitch... Baseball movies are only about baseball half the time, and this seems like one of those movies, in the way Jerry McGuire is a football movie. I don't really like either of them, but Jimmy Fallon is much worse than Tom Cruise. Baseball movies do translate very well to the realm of obsession, in the way White Noise was more about a man connecting with his past than it was about EVP. It can still be a good movie, but don't go in expecting Major League-style comedy.


Now Playing - I'm From There by The Bouncing Souls

Friday, April 01, 2005

Rest in Peace

Now Playing - Mitch Hedberg


I wasn't paying much attention to the world around me until I got an email when I got home from work. Steve Hofstetter wrote his column a few days early because he felt he just had mto write today. A comic known as the thinking man's comic, Hofstetter heard that one of his comedy inspirations had passed away. That was Mitch Hedberg.

"I got an ant farm, them fellas didn't grow shit."

Mitch has one of the most unique deliveries in the business, bringing the deadpan musings of Steven Wright with the outlandish hilarity of Harland Williams. At 37, I feel that he was an HBO special away from being one of the household comedy names that people always look forward to hearing new material from.

"I think Bigfoot is blurry, that's the problem, there's a large blurry monster running around the country"

Personally, I think that Hedberg had verything in place to make a huge comedy run. They say that the difference betwen cult success and mainstream success is that two million people see something mainstream once, but cult success means two thousand people see it hundreds of time. Hedberg had the best of both worlds, a deeply committed fanbase (if you don't believe me, see how many comics have already wrote something about him on their websites, despite the fact he died less than 24 hours ago) and a group of people whose admiration grows with every appearance on Conan O'Brian.

"I know alot about cars, I can look at a car's headlights and know exactly which way it's coming."

This has to be one of the first times in my life that I recall a comic dying in the prime of his life, as so many others seem to without an obvious weight problem. An admitted drug user "I used to do drugs... I still do, but I used to, too," perhaps that had to do something with his untimely death at 37. I just get sick and tired of seeing so many talented people in music and comedy die long before their time.

"My lucky number is four billion, it doesn't come in handy when gambling 'come on four billion!' fuck, seven... hey, I'm gonna need more dice."

Now playing - Mitch Hedberg